Hey Gang!
Its that time again. Time to update the Greater Northeast Ohio on the whereabouts and happenings of yours truely. I've caught a little bit of grief for not updating this blog as often as I should. Mostly Mom saying that I put too much stuff on Facebook where she can't log on and read. Sorry Mom!
Lots have happened since the last post, most important (to me) was my birthday on the 18th. Sadly, it was another birthday away from home. My leave didn't work out like I had hoped to and I was forced to spend my day on the job. The 18th was a Monday and it was just another day to me and the rest of my unit. Luckily, no one knew it was my birthday and I certaintly didn't spread the word. The Army has a funny way about celebrating birthdays. They think that because this is an anniversiry of your birth, it gives them the right to make that day a living h*ll. I've seen guys do 10 push ups for every year (ie 24 years old=240 push ups) or low crawl 1 meter for every year. Like I said, I wasn't gonna broadcast that it was my birthday. Being a Monday, PT for the day was a run and run we did. It ended up being a 5 mile "jog" (I use that term loosely) up and down hills to and around the airfield. After PT, it was like any other day. I went to work, 9-5, and stared at my computer. As luck would have it, my company was in the playoffs for the post softball league and the finals were that night. Being a younger guy and with some softball/baseball experience, I was recruited quickly. We ended up playing 3 games back-to-back-to-back. I played every game and played quite well (for not throwing a ball or swinging a bat in over a year). No errors in the field (left field for 1.5 games till the SGT Major showed up and right field after that) and went 5 for 8 at the plate with 4 RBIs. My last hit was a one bouncer to the fence that suprised not only me but also the outfielders because they were playing me short. We won the first 2 and lost the 3rd one by 5 or 6 runs. Overall I had a great time not only playing ball again but also getting to know the rest of company. After the games were over, I was so tired I crashed and fell asleep as soon as I came back to my room. I was sore for the next 4 days.
The following Monday, I started the Pre Service class that everyone coming onto Fort Leavenworth has to take. It focuses on DB (Detention Barracks ie the prison) proceedures and completely pointless for anyone, like me, that is not a 31E (Military Police MOS). I sit in class and listen to classes on escalation of force and inmate movement proceedures with a glazed over look on my face and thoughts going through my mind along the lines of "This is what is stopping me from going on leave???" Anyways, adapt and overcome ("hurry up and wait" reworded). Tuesday we toured the DB. I got to see inmates upclose and personall. Scary for me. Maybe its just me but those bars just don't seem thick enough. Like I said before, the DB is the DoD's (Dept. of Defense) only maximum security prison. There are 6 guys on death row, 1 with a signed death certificate whic means he is a few months away from the chair. Only guys that get 5 or more years come here. Dont worry, Mom. The only way I will ever go back inside the walls is if one of the inmate's printer goes on the fritz. Seeing how they don't have any computers or printers, it will be a while. Wednesday, we did USD (Unarmed Self Defense). We learned a lot f pressure points and how to stop an attacker if he tried to charge, choke, stab or beat the crap out of you. And then came Thursday. Oh my Thursday was a bad day. Thursday was the day that we got sprayed with pepper spray. OK I get why 31E get sprayed but me!?! I work on computers and radios. I will never come close to pepper spray. Never. Ok this spray crap deserves its own paragragh...
Remember the gas chamber post? Forget about it. It doesnt even compare with this stuff. Do you know how they make pepper spray? They boil water, throw in the hottest chile peppers they can find and skim the oil that comes out of the pepper, mix it with a propellent and there you have it, instant liquid fire. I heard that some guys put this stuff on their eggs. I accidently got some in my mouth when they were washing out my eyes and I about threw up. Actually, I tried to make myself upchuck, hoping the stomache acid would act to neutralize the pepper spray. OK I am getting ahead of myself. The whole purpose of this excercise is to see if you can handle the affects of the spray and still maintain control of yourself. What they do is spray your face with your eyes closed, then make you open them and complete a confidence course that consisted of 4 stations. First, throw some elbows; Second, knees; Third, protect your head while 2 guys beat your head with pads; and Fourth, defend yourself from an attacker and put him in the handcuff position. OK great. I don't even know what the stupid handcuff position is!! Well I learned fast when I watched others go before me. The clip below, in the previous post, is the first person to get sprayed. She freaked out majorly, not confidence building for the rest of us. Now to get the whole picture, you have to know that basically everybody from my company came out from their offices to watch the festivities. this is what you call Army Fun. If you closely in the video you can see people sitting on the hill in the background and hear the muffled laughter coming from the 30 or so soldiers behind me. I can't wait to do it to the next class. So here goes. Its my turn next and I am still steaming about the fact that I even have to do this but I am a soldier and it my job so suck it up and drive on. BAM! A clear stream of this orange liquid goes across my eyes like a blindfold. Before they release you to the first station they make you blink so I blinked. Mistake Number One. How do you describe this pain? Ladies, have you ever got mascara in your eyes? OK now imagine pouring the bottle in yours eyes. Fellas, you know when you have been working out and get that sweat in you eyes? Imagine dunking your head in a bucket of sweat and opening yours eyes. I can assure you, what ever you are thinking of, it doesnt come close to this pain. You cannot imagine this pain. Liquid fire, thats about the best that I can think of. The instructor blows his little whistle and I run to the first station and start wailing elbows at this pad because I am so pissed from the burning in my eyes. Whistle, sprint to the knee strkes station. The way I figure it, the faster I get from station the less time this will be in my eyes. Plus, the guys didnt spray my legs with anything so off to the races I say. Only problem with running is that you have to open an eye to see where you are going. Mistake Number Two. Adreninlihne can only be a pain supressor for so long before acid in your eyes takes over pain responsibilites. I make it through the course and get my "inmate" in the handcuff position (looks like a guy hogtied, lying face down, hands on the small of the back, feet crossed and bent at the knees. I told my dude to "get on the f***ing ground, hand on your back, feet crossed and stick them in your a$$!! Sorry Mom. I wasn't really thinking about God or being a great Christian at this perticular moment in time) Now Im done with this crap and I go to have my eyes washed out. It felt soooooooo good. The only problem is that pepper spray reacts with water so once you get all the excess off, you still have about 45 more minutes of slow tourture left. This is the time where the rest of the face comes into play. They sprayed your whole face with this junk and it gets all over your face. Remember the part about liquid fire? Well that goes just the same for skin as it does for eyes. Ever think you have gotten a bad sunburn? Nope, I got you beat. It felt like I layed out all day on the beach and got a 3rd degree sunburn on my face....then did it all over again the next day......then go scuba diving in a hot tub. Yeah thats close. So there I am. Eyes burning, half blind, skin on fire. I grabbed some paper towels and tried to wipe off my face. Mistake Number Three. All I was doing was pushing it further down my open pores. It took me an hour and a half to stop blinking and for my face to stop burning. I took a picture for your entertain purposes about 15 minutes after being sprayed. Its below in the pictures I uploaded. Look at it when you are having a bad day at work and remember that you could always have it worse.
Well thats enough for now. Hope you all get a chuckle out of that and this finds you safe and happy. I will be coming home for leave Sept 11-Sept 25. I can barely wait. It has been far too long since I have been in the Buckeye State and Sept is a darn fine month to be in Ohio.
I have been asked by several people how my living arrangments are so I put this video together. Hope this answers those questions. Actually, I just hope this works so you can all see it, haha.
Till next time guys
Frank
