CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Friday, August 1, 2008

Down but not out

Hey gang. This is not a post that I really want to write but one that needs to be written to keep you up to date on my situation here.

I got to Fort Benning on Thursday and spent Thurs and Fri inprocessing and getting reaquainted to the area. Saturday, we went to see The Dark Knight and it was awesome. Heath Ledger's Joker blew the pants off of Jack Nicolesons version. You really should go see it. Sunday was spent relaxing and hydrating for the upcoming week of Airborne training. Now here comes the crappy part. Monday morning, 0400, we had a PT test. I failed and got dropped from the class. The first part was the push ups. We were in a gravel pit and were pushing on these boards. My first 20 or so went smooth enough and then he stopped counting so I just kept on pushing. With about 15 seconds left, he said I was at 35 and I had to get 42 to pass so I start pumping them out but he wouldnt count them. His reason? He couldnt hear my dog tags clang off the board. You got to be kidding me I thought to myself. For me to go that low, I have to go lower than what would be considered a regular push up. You only have to go down far enough so that your elbows make a 90 degree angle. For me to get the clang, I was going way lower than that. But they gave me a retest about 10 minutes later. However I was so exhausted from doing the first set that when I retested, I got to 36 and had muscle failure. I went down for the 37th and couldnt get back up. I just couldnt do it. So I got dropped. I had to leave all my friends and move to the Headquarters company. Now I am just sitting around doing crappy details all day long and waiting on orders to send me to my unit.

I am just so disgusted with myself. I should of been able to do the retest at least. I didnt even get a chance to do any training and now Im seperated from my friends. Yeah I see them everyday but it just isnt the same. Me and Zupo were susposed to go through Airborne together and then get each other through RIP. Now I just feel like I let him down and all the rest of the guys. I really have just been beating myself up all week now and I realize it is doing me no good. What good is pouting gonna do? I have no one to blame but myself and I gotta get my ass in gear. My Mom said it best when I told her about getting dropped. She said the same thing she told me after my last football game at Fawcett when we lost on the 2 yard line with a blocked field goal. She said "You guys have been showing how to win with class all year, now its time to show how we can lose with class" and she is exactly right. Things have been going smoothly ever since I joined and I have been the type of person I always thought I could be but now other people see too. But true character is not shown when everything goes to plan and things are rolling smoothly. True character ir revealed when you get kicked down and things get jumbled up. How you get back up and continue on is what really counts. Get ready to see the new Frank. This is just a speed bump in my career. I am going to go to my unit, become the top dog in my commo shop, PT my butt off and go back to Airborne in 6 months and get my wings. Mark my words, I will be airborne. I dont care if I have to re enlist for another 4 years to get a slot. I WILL BE AIRBORNE!

My next post will be to tell you about my orders and where Im going. Not much gonna happen inbetween now and then. Much love and Ill be home soon. Cant wait to see y'all. Actually, cant wait to get out of Georgia and away from all these"y'alls"

Please pray for orders to Korea or Germany :)
Frank

5 comments:

Stephanie said...

Your mom is an incredibly wise woman.

Krista said...

Hey sugar - I'm really sorry you're not happy about your orders, but, I do have to admit that, as selfish as it is, I'm relieved that you'll still be in the states. I know you were hoping for Korea or Germany, but where you'll be is much closer to home (and ME!!!). Just give it a few days to sink in, and maybe you'll realize that you're going exactly where you're supposed to.

Dale and Gail said...

Hope you got my email on Tues. Everything I tried to say about how you handle adversity, blah-blah-blah, you said better with your definition of true character. Sounded a lot like your Grandpa Walker there buddy! I absolutely know that YOU WILL BE AIRBORNE! 'cause you want it so you will make it happen. Go, Frank!

Katie said...

Yes!! That's the kind of Frank I know. The one that hurts when his plans take an unplanned turn but clears his head and doesn't take no for an answer. You go for Airborne because I know you can do it, too; I am convinced of that. In the meantime, who knows what kind of things you'll learn and what experiences you have. Who knows, 2 years down the road, you may need some experience you'll gain in Leavenworth. Or maybe you'll meat the girl of your dreams in Kansas. There are so many possibilities and I have to believe good things are in your future.
I am proud of you, Frank, and that hasn't changed since day one. I am just as proud to be your sister and tell my friends about how awesome you are, as i was two weeks ago.
Your biggest fan, Katie

Anonymous said...

This had to be one of the most difficult posts you've ever written. I already knew the story you were relaying, but it tore me up having to hear the details and your disappointment again. I almost didn't read to the end. Boy, am I glad I did! Tears of pride replaced the sad ones! I wanted to jump to my feet and salute you!!!!! I so admire your determination and focus! When you test again for Airborn, tell them to be rolling a tape b/c they are going to see 42 of the BEST push-ups ever done in the history of the Army! We are more proud of you than ever! LOVE, Mom and Dad